Tag Archives: HEARTBREAK

HOLDING YOUR SHADOW

HOLDING YOUR SHADOW

The sunshine has left
My days have turned to night.
I try to accept you’re gone
But it doesn’t feel right.
I wish I had known the truth
Right from the start.
I still hold your shadow
Instead of your heart.

But a shadow doesn’t breathe
And shadows cannot kiss.
Shadows can’t love me back
When I’m hurting like this.

I thought that I had found it
The love I wanted all along.
I felt that we were perfect
And nothing would go wrong.
I let myself feel hopeful
That this was the best part.
Now I hold your shadow
Instead of your heart.

But a shadow can’t hold me
When I’m alone in the night.
Shadows are just memories
That did not turn out right.

I walk past places we went
Back went when we first met.
It only makes it harder
For me to heal and forget.
Sometimes it’s a melody
Or the aroma of a bloom
That we enjoyed together
In our own cozy room.

Still a shadow is all I have
And that’s the painful part.
I still hold your shadow
Instead of your heart.

Advertisements

DID YOU MISS ME?

miss me

Did you miss me when you left?
You can trust that I missed you.
I wish you hadn’t moved away
But maybe it was best for you.
Nobody wants to be a warden
Holding you against your will.
I opened my hand, you flew away.
But, remember, I love you still.

Did you miss the time we had
Sitting together at end of day?
Do you miss the jokes we shared
And the funny things we’d say?
Are this uncomfortable for you?
Have you, even once, awakened sad
Missing the closeness and love
The special bond we knew we had?

Are there many times in a day
You wish you could take it all back
And come back home here to me?
So, why not go ahead and pack?
Your half of the bed is still there
You pillow still has your cologne.
There is no reason either of us
Should continue to live alone.

I understand what happened
Nobody likes a ball and chain
Weighing them down every day.
It’s a silent but deadly kind of pain.
So, I have learned from what I was
And have become a lighter weight.
Come back home, let’s start again.
And this time, we’ll make it great.

DALLIANCE

DALLIANCE

Having him near and not touching
Was decidedly tough.
In the end I realized that loving him
Was just not enough.
He liked making love and exploring
The bodies we had
But not enough to fall in love with me
And that was sad.

I knew this heart-pounding affair was
Just for a few days.
And while I was falling very hard, he
Would son walk away.
He mumbled something one time
About being a free spirit
But in those moments I didn’t know
What to do with it.

It was not information I could take
And put someplace real.
It was a kind of romantic connection
That I could not feel.
It didn’t fit with the movies and books
And the fairy tales.
It didn’t end with a swell of music.
It ended with sad wails.

It made no sense at all to me then
How anyone could be
A totally involved sexual machine
And act so shallowly.
How can someone throw themselves
Into such wild action
And have it not mean more than just
Physical satisfaction?

He was the first, there were more.
This kind of guy shines,
And knows how to attract the fools
With attitudes like mine;
People who persuade themselves
To proceed blindly
When these one-night lotharios
Treat lovers unkindly.

Of course, it was not love, I know,
Not even for me.
It was just something called lust
That captivated me.
A gorgeous body and talented talk
Easily woos youth
With so much seduction I would not
Look hard for the truth.

WILL OF THE WISP

will of the wisp

You put my head up
Among the stars
And help me hear
The cosmos sing.

To me it was epiphany
But it didn’t mean a thing
To you, at least not enough
To realize I was enchanted
Like a school kid of twelve
With that first strong crush
That turns the heart to mush
And the knees to jelly.

It puts a fire in the belly
That time can’t quench.
I felt my gut wrench
And clench and flatten out
So much I felt a shout
Coming on like a scream
But felt that would seem
To make me look insane.

I am doing it all again,
That childhood love attack
Was dragging me back
And away from today
When my heart wanted to say
Words that meant something,
But to you nothing.

My head is still in the stars
Which must be where you are
Because you are not here.
Nowhere near any more
I was just a love chore
And, your work done
You are gone.

CALL HER MAYBE

CALL HER MAYBE

I didn’t call her baby.
I always called her maybe
Because nothing she said
Could ever be carved in stone.
We’d have a date on Sunday
She might show up on Monday
And no word of apology to share.
I learned about love all alone.

I learned a painful lesson
About what was important
I mattered which you asked
Because she really didn’t care.
I’d have tickets for a concert
And she’d go to the desert
And come back some days later
Never said a word about where.

She called herself free spirit
But I really couldn’t see it
All I could hear was stories
And she was the star of every one.
Things might have been better
If she had written it in a letter
To tell me sweet goodbyes
And then it would have been done.

But when she was around me
She managed to astound me
With whispered words of love
And telling me I was the only one.
But they were just at hand
Like the lies of a one-night stand.
I wish I hadn’t fallen for them.
I wouldn’t have been the lonely one.

DON’T LEAVE ME YESTERDAY

DONT LEAVE ME YESTERDAY

Don’t leave me yesterday
Turn the clock back please.
Twenty four hours went by
Much too quickly like a sneeze.
You can tell I am trying hard
To keep a sense of humor here.
But no matter how many jokes
You still aren’t anywhere near.

Twenty four hours is forever
When it’s all about yesterday.
I find no way I can be strong
Now that you are gone away.
So, I really want to do it;
Turn the clock back some way.
That way I can say to you
Don’t leave me. Yesterday.
Don’t say goodbye yesterday;
Those words hurt to hear.
Please come back to me today
And stay at least one year.
Perform a miracle for me, please
By inventing time travel
And do it quickly, love of my life
Before I begin to unravel.

Twenty four hours is forever
When it’s all about yesterday.
I find no way I can be strong
Now that you are gone away.
So, I really want to do it;
Turn the clock back some way.
That way I can say to you
Don’t leave me. Yesterday.
Change your mind yesterday
And let’s make future plans.
If you pack and leave yesterday
Today is out of my hands.
Stay with me, please, yesterday
And today and all tomorrows.
I crumble inside and want to cry
Overcome with my sorrows.

Twenty four hours is forever
When it’s all about yesterday.
I find no way I can be strong
Now that you are gone away.
So, I really want to do it;
Turn the clock back some way.
That way I can say to you
Don’t leave me. Yesterday.

STILL GONE

STILL GONE

Just when I start to thinking
I am finally moving on
I look around and discover
You’re still gone.
I’m finding out how many
Hours until each dawn
By counting my own tears
Since you’re gone.

I tell myself to grow up
And then I want to throw up.
I feel like something died
And it’s right here inside.

I’m not making plans at all
I’m an ineffective pawn
To fate and all her harpies
On a limb halfway sawn.
I brought all this on myself,
I lie awake and I yawn
And hope when I wake up
I’ll find you’re not gone.

My life feels like it’s over
Like I’ll never have another
Chance to be in love like this
That yours was my last kiss.

Just when I start to thinking
I am finally moving on
I look around and discover
You’re still gone.
I’m finding out how many
Hours until each dawn
By counting my own tears
Since you’re gone.

(Image from: www.johncboland.com)