I once had a doggie
I named him Republican
Because he ran around
And crapped on all I’d done.
He was rather stupid yet
But you couldn’t leave him out.
If you locked him outside
He would sit and whine and pout.

Republican, you’re a dumb dog
And that’s an honest fact.
You don’t have good habits
And you don’t know how to act.
I can’t take you anywhere
That you don’t act the fool.
I always have loved dogs, but
You have broken the rule.

He had no special talents
Except for getting in the way.
I tried to teach him some tricks
But he only wanted to play.
He howled like a Baskerville
In the middle of the night.
He wasn’t a hunting dog
He had such lousy sight.

So, Republican was a drain
A negative gain for me.
He was kind of a waste of feed
Even though I got him free.
He chewed up all my furniture
And my shoes right after that.
I’m fairly sure I’d much prefer
To go hunting with a cat.

Brent Kincaid


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